The training and salary you get as a Soldier are only some of the ways the Army strengthens you for tomorrow. The Army also offers a lifetime of neurosis , "better than nothing" health care, integrated vacation time, corpse disposal service, and cash allowances to cover the cost of all the mood stabilizers you'll need.
Over half of the veterans of the Vietnam War have suffered from
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Since
you or
your government won't be able to
afford proper mental health diagnosis and treatment after your term in the U.S. Army, you may want to keep a copy of this
checklist. If you begin having emotional breakdowns, you can simply read this document over to sort out which negative cognitions you are having are valid, and which are the result of your
now deficient Hippocampus.
Just remember, if you can't get your head straight after witnessing the brutal slaying of your close friends, it's
your fault because you're a weak minded pussy who needs to find God. If you were not such a wuss, your horrifying experiences would have
made a man out of you. Don't waste your time trying to get V.A. benefits. They will
not even consider your claim, since we all know you're just looking for free money.
